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astrid's personal blog:

july 16th, 2024:

> playing around with old software today:

july 15th, 2024:

> made a topster today:

july 12th, 2024:

> reading "why zebras don't get ulcers". good read so far. reading psychology is like eating candy.
anyone who can make talking about the parasympathetic nervous system funny should be heralded a little bit.

> anyway, i wanted to touch base on my feelings & thoughts about my industry:
i kind of hate it!

> now, i benefit from it greatly & i love many aspects of my job.
creating art, music & maintaining my website gives me great joy!
in fact, sometimes on an off day i find myself doing something stupid like spending 8 hours creating a forum.
however, there are many aspects of this industry that i certainly don't enjoy:

1. for starters, i think social media is genuinely revolting. it's really hard, but i'm trying to exit it.
i find that when i read twitter, my cortisol levels rise. so, i've quit twitter!
i think people that use twitter often probably develop hypertension & i'd love to see some eventual research on that if twitter outlasts this current decade.
it is already fact that twitter feeds you stuff you don't want to see algorithmically to raise engagement (aka something that pisses you off).

2. when i read the sleep deprived comments, i am genuinely baffled at the vitriol spread, not only in the form of transphobia towards me, but in
the form of parasocial over-analyzation & judgment towards my colleagues & i. not worth reading, imo.
i also don't really like the give-and-take of a livestream anymore. it just doesn't feel good.

3. the more time i spend outside, the more i feel alive.

you know the great tweet by juniper about 3 corporations in a trenchcoat?
well, the modern web is actually 3 social medias in a trenchcoat.
(facebook, twitter & anything google or amazonian [yt/twitch])

using social media less & operating less within the confines of these anonymized gatherings (which is akin to road rage on a highway) has vastly improved my well-being.

> i've grown to hate making an aztrosist video. whenever i drop the character and act more like myself, it backfires.
in fact, i once posted myself eating orange slices and received hundreds of transphobic comments. it sort of begs the question: why?
i didn't even mention being trans, being queer or anything in that video. i ate orange slices. that was it. it's interesting, really.
in fact, i barely talk about these sorts of things at all online & yet still receive commentary about how i make everything about my identity.
i'm actually really comfortable with my identity, maybe they're uncomfortable with theirs?

regardless, why operate within these confines if they do not give me happiness? so, i've begun seeking other methods of obtaining joy. & i'm enjoying that journey.

july 11th, 2024:

> i've graduated from INFP into an INFJ somehow.
i'm not someone who ascribes mbti to myself like a harpoon. i think it's interesting & fun mostly.
honestly, i think its a tired dispute to go "well mbti doesn't matter!" yeah, no shit. it's just putting humans into 16 different buckets.
i am vastly different than a million other INFJ's. but in some ways i'm alike! i think that's interesting to ponder for 15 minutes on a coffee break.

july 10th, 2024:

> dear nerds: i have created a [moxfield] account to showcase my mtg commander decks physically built.
> dear other nerds: i have created a [boardgamegeek] account to showcase my board game collection in finer detail.

july 7th, 2024:

> an interesting forum post:

june 27th, 2024:

> my tweets are too high-level, so i must retire:

june 25th, 2024:

> i listened to my 1000th album today. feels kinda cool.
i have been listening to full albums for a pretty long time. it feels kinda cool to catalog the 1000th one.
> for reference, i track every album i listen to on [rateyourmusic]. it's a rad site for finding new stuff & cataloguing.
> my 1000th album was some breakcore album i found in the algorithm.
i listened to it in its entirety in the shower. "goreshit - goretrance 9" was the title. it was okay.
> rym's visual genre map is an interesting graphic:

june 17th, 2024:

june 12th, 2024:

> i finally achieved s-rank on tetris effect's "sprint" mode.
> honestly, i thought this would be the hardest s-rank to get on my journey for 100% completion...
...but i got it before "ultra" and "all clear" s-ranks! (the last 2 s-ranks i need)
> eventually i will 100% this game...

june 3rd, 2024:

may 22nd, 2024:

> it's hard to picture a happier day than today. i found my favorite bug in the wild.
my favorite bug is the periodical cicada (specifically magicicada septendecim)
& they've been popping up alongside brood 19 (which only lines up every 221 years).
i hung out with them. i made a video about it [here], but i'll post a picture for you as well:

march 31st, 2024:

> happy international transgender day of visibility!
> ongoing voice training progress: [google drive voice files]