What does it mean to be trans?

[trotting_vomitλ]

I'm genuinely not sure anymore. I'm kind of at a crossroads regarding it, and I feel like potentially labelling myself as trans feels wrong.

[SiobhanNotShane]

idk, sometimes i really wonder why im trans or like how im trans. its confusing so i guess i dont really think about it too much.

[hehfg]

To me a very big part of it is simply volition. I spent many long years wondering if I'm trans, and thinking I would probably be happier as a girl but not being completely sure. In the end I came to the simple conclusion that not knowing what to do with myself sucked more than anything else, and that if I'm not trans then I will become trans. Haven't changed my mind, but even if I did I wouldn't regret taking that step.

Good luck!

[trotting_vomitλ]

thanks for the replies. sorry for not checking on this sooner. I just thought that it was a really embarrassing question and was too embarrassed to check for any responses.

anywho, on the topic, I suppose I asked this because I felt like I didn't deserve to be trans if that makes any sense. felt like, well I guess like stolen valor or something. I don't know, it just, I guess I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to because of what I've been for so long, if that makes any sense.

[hehfg]

Yeah that's honestly very relateable. I don't know if it helps or not, but as a trans person it would make me happy if you tried out being trans. I suppose you already know this, but the part about stolen valor is probably just impostor syndrome, you'd be hardpressed to find a transperson who wants to exclude you. The road of self-discovery is long and hard for most people, good luck <3

[trotting_vomitλ]

Yeah that's honestly very relateable. I don't know if it helps or not, but as a trans person it would make me happy if you tried out being trans. I suppose you already know this, but the part about stolen valor is probably just impostor syndrome, you'd be hardpressed to find a transperson who wants to exclude you. The road of self-discovery is long and hard for most people, good luck <3

Thanks. This does help I guess, though I'll always have that feeling that I did it too late... It kinda sucks having to do it all on my own because I know for a fact that there are barely any people from my childhood (i.e. parents and such) who could even possibly begin to fathom accepting, let alone supporting the fact that this is probably what I want to be, and that because of that, I had to stall for years before having to take on, really, the financial burden (LAWL) of it by myself. It kind of sucks, because to a certain extent, they have given me everything they possibly could fathom, and to a degree (at least to them), the payoff for that investment was their golden child becoming something they abhor.

[Pandafish]

For me, it was a very very slow acceptance, so I'm still working on deciding what it means for me. As it stands, being trans for me means I've started putting in effort to achieve a body that, when I look in the mirror, I don't feel pure hatred towards. It's expensive and a lot of work, but if it means someday I can look at myself and not feel disgust, then it's all worth it. Even if I'm not out to most people or passing in public, I now know that I'm working towards those things.

So to give the shortest possible answer, right now for me, being trans means being on a journey towards loving myself.

[trotting_vomitλ]

So to give the shortest possible answer, right now for me, being trans means being on a journey towards loving myself.

:)

[trotting_vomitλ]

I just wanted to add something here that relates to my apprehensions about considering myself transgender or anything of that sort. Forgive me for my narrow mindedness on the topic. Do you think it comes from a place of privilege, the desire to live as the opposite gender (me being a man or whatever)? I'm almost certain that there is an argument against this notion, but I can't really convince myself that me, a man, wanting to be a woman isn't an incredibly spoiled thing to do, as women generally (almost unilaterally) have it worse than men in this world, and I personally believe that, in my past, I have, even if ultimately negligibly, contributed to the problem. Especially considering the ways in which women are treated elsewhere in the world, I just feel like it would be wrong for me to do so, if that makes any sense. I feel like it is only due to luck that I am able to be in the position that I am. I realize this sounds like an awfully TERFy argument, and I suspect this because it actually is an argument that has been posited by them at one point in time (I do not quite know what their positions are), but like, I don't know. It's really just an internalized train of thought that I'd thought I'd share since it's had me rather down lately, and I perhaps could do with a little advice on the matter. I do hope I haven't said anything egregious here.

Cheers,
trotting

[SiobhanNotShane]

I just wanted to add something here that relates to my apprehensions about considering myself transgender [...] I do hope I haven't said anything egregious here.

Cheers,
trotting

Hi,
I'm a trans woman, and I can tell you this is how I used to feel. That somehow it was wrong to want to be something else. I promise that its not. Even if it was privilage somehow, the majority of my surrounds definitely thinks it isn't.
I feel like privilage is not really applicable in this context. When I decided to show my transness to the world, I lost privilage so I could become happy. People will scoff at me and call me slurs in public sometimes now. But I'm happier than I ever was (even if I wasn't sure I would be when I began my transition)
I don't think that your past needs to define who you become. I was an absolute shithead and arsehole when I was a younger teen. One of those boys who made "I identify as an attack helicopter" jokes. Now I'm a woman, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yes, you have written some thoughts out that I find a bit transphobic, but I think most people I've met have a bit of transphobia baked into them. Thoughts are not the same as actions.
I would say that you are likely transgender and are just apprehensive about it. I know I was for a while. If you want to talk more let me know <3. If you want to talk slightly more privately than a public forum I should be pretty easy to find online, outside of Xitter (yuck)

I hope you figure it out and with much love, Siobhan